HOLY SMOKE TAVERN; MAPLE FALLS, WA
The Holy Smoke is smokin’ hot

By James Fellers

I bet most of you never thought of church as a place where you could crank up the amplifiers and jam to the sounds of Janis Joplin, Toby Keith or Bob Seger, or perhaps dance to Frank, Dean or Sammy.

But just about four miles north of Kendall, Washington on the Kendall Hwy (SR 547) is the Holy Smoke Bar & Grill. The Holy Smoke was originally a small Catholic church built for the people of the Columbia Valley and surrounding area. Having been built for voices singing hymns and old-time gospels makes it a perfect place to sing karaoke.

Once inside this converted church, the overall atmosphere of the Holy Smoke is that of down, old-country charm. The wall behind the bar is covered with old dollar bills, starting with the typical first one earned. Patrons over the years signed their dollars and added to the collection until there are now hundreds covering the wall. In addition, there are several pews left over from the old church that provides extra seating.

Owners Star and Mark have worked hard to bring the Holy Smoke back from near obscurity and old-timers are thankful for their efforts.

Every Saturday night at eight o’clock, Greg, your karaoke host, fires up his equipment and starts the entertainment. It doesn’t take long for the singers to get their slips in. The acoustics inside this place coupled with the above average sound system makes this a singer’s heaven. Solos, duets and groups wait their turn patiently. But it’s not a long wait because Greg keeps the rotation moving along and his selection of songs is as good as I have seen anywhere. Anyone can find an old or a new favorite song.

I put in my slip and ordered my usual. Sat down at the bar and was just watching the crowd and waiting for my turn when Marina started singing Janis Joplin’s “Kosmic Blues” and wham! I went right back to 1968 and the summer of love. Then Jody got up and sang “Let ’er Rip.” I covered forty years in a few minutes!

Unlike some places I’ve been to, the locals here are very warm and receptive of newcomers and they love hearing new voices. And one very distinctive voice came from John, who brings new life to old songs and whose version of “The City of New Orleans” would make Dylan change trains.

The Holy Smoke is surprisingly larger than it looks from the outside. The dining area has six booths, which seat up to five or six and two separate tables. There is room enough in the middle for a band and dancing. Against the back wall is the bar. It looks like it’s as old as the church itself and the big screen television behind the bar is reminiscent of a huge mirror, topped in the center by huge set of horns that would make “Beaudacious” weep.

On the other side of the room are two pool tables and a door, which leads outside to a large deck with several picnic tables for those of you that need to have a not-so-holy smoke, or a tall cold one on a warm evening. The deck isn’t covered, but there are large umbrellas that shelter each table from the elements.

The menu has nice variety and the food is great. Star, who runs the kitchen (just one of her many jobs) serves up good sized portions. From behind the bar and the kitchen Sonya, Trinda and Tiffany move quickly around the room serving dinner, keeping the drinks flowing and seeing that everyone has everything they need.

In addition to karaoke, the Holy Smoke also features local bands and open mic nights making this a great place to dine and dance, dance and sing or sing and enjoy a fantastic time hanging with old and new friends. So load everyone up and come out and see why the Holy Smoke is smokin’.

The Holy Smoke Bar & Grill is located at 8794 Kendall Rd. (SR 547) Maple Falls, WA 98266. Phone number (360) 988-8333.